What is “slut shaming”?

For a few years I’ve had my, mostly feminist-type, friends all in an uproar over slut shaming. “Let sluts be sluts!” they say.

OK, fine, if you choose to be a “slut”, regardless of your gender, then be one. However, if you are doing it by choice, saying yes, I choose to sleep with random strangers, have feelings-free sexual encounters, or whatever it is people think sluts do, you should also be held accountable for your actions. There is no so-called shame in being accountable for your actions.

But if “slut shaming” is me calling you out because, for example, you have a girlfriend that you have publicly acknowledged, yet you also solicit naked photos of other women, behind her back, or have sex with other women, behind her back… then yes, you are a fucking slut. At least be man/woman enough to admit what you’re doing is shady. My issue isn’t with your being a slut, it’s with you not owning up to what you do.

Accountability is something everyone should have. If you smoke crack and steal, ya know what? At least admit it. Sure, smoking crack and stealing is something you should be ashamed of, but the point is accountability.

Have we gotten so PC and non-confrontational that we’re saying, “oh no, sweetie, it’s cool that you just sucked 37 dicks in the club and the video is on WorldStar for everyone to see!”? I mean, really. Is it because this is “the internet” and nothing is taken seriously that these sorts of things are ok?

Call me old fashioned, but if you wouldn’t show the pic/video to your grandma, maybe you shouldn’t post it on the internet. Because if you wouldn’t show your grandma, you’re likely ashamed of your actions. Grandma will still love you if you’re a whore, but probably shouldn’t see the YouPorn of you sucking those 37 dicks. Get it?

Also, “sluts” should stick together. If you’re a slut and you know it (clap your hands!), stick with your own kind. There are plenty of human beings of all genders who want nothing more than casual sex and the like. There are also plenty of human beings of all genders who want actual relationships. Stay with your own kind. Sluts who prey upon the relationship types are seriously fucking over the folks who want relationships. Relationship types who go for sluts generally think they can “change” the slut. No, sorry. Won’t happen.

I’m sure that at some point the sluts do desire actual relationships, and can easily settle into that. Good for them. But you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to, regardless of what it is you’re trying to change. If someone isn’t ready to stop drinking, they won’t accept your help. If someone isn’t ready to lose weight, they won’t accept your help. If someone isn’t ready to stop fucking people in nightclub bathrooms, they won’t accept your help. Period. End of story.

My point? I’m not sure. I guess I’m just sick of people crying about “slut shaming” when they really should be crying about lack of accountability. There is no shame in being a slut. There is also no shame in wanting nothing more than a meaningful, committed relationship.

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